Paper Heart
by SilverIce0
Summary: Kano Shuuya, the one believed to be the joker of the group. The one who always wore a smile on his face thanks to this power he pretty much asked for. If only he knew how much trouble it would cost him. How much pain it would bring. One Shot!


**This story is mostly just a rant for me to destroy my writers block. It might be a little cliche? Not to mention its my first Kagepro fic. I completely understand Kano's feelings, but sometimes writing out something meant to be depressing just never works for me. I just want my baby to be happy :'(**

 **Sometimes having a heart of glass is better than that of paper. That instant of your heart shattering is fast, but the pain of it being ripped apart slowly and burned over the years is much worse. You can't fix something that's no longer there.**

 **Enjoy the story! Edit: Thanks to Shad0wKat the grammar/spelling mistakes are fixed. So thanks for that!**

 _ **Paper Heart**_

The breeze was cool against the deceiver's skin. The moon shone quite dull in the dark sky, making his midnight stroll eerie, cold, and depressing. Just like every other night.

When was the last time he'd actually gotten a good night's sleep? He wasn't sure himself. Probably around the time Ayano was still alive. Kano laughed humorlessly, the hollow sound echoing off the quiet street. Everything had gone downhill for him. He was tumbling into an endless abyss of despair and no one, not even himself, could save him now.

Depressing thoughts were exactly why Kano took a walk in the middle of the night. Sleeping brought unwanted memories and emotions. Memories brought only pain. And so, he put off sleep as long as he could until, hopefully, he could have a dreamless slumber for what time he had remaining of that night.

It was raining. Kano hadn't noticed until he had stepped into a dark alleyway, much to his surprise. Usually he wasn't that lost in thought. It was awfully quiet, save for the rain dancing away on the ground, and the alley was extremely dark.

"Ah, how long has it been raining?" He questioned to no one but his shadow. "Should I go home? Kido must be pretty angry by now…" She'd only caught him a few times, most of which had been three days or so after he'd disappeared. Of course, he'd only been out for couple of hours tonight; he didn't want to cause any more trouble than he had to for the time being.

 _Ah, but they don't really care, you see? Just like you, they lie, hiding the fact that you're nothing to them. Do you know why she gets angry when you come home late? Because she wished you hadn't come back at all. Maybe you should just take the week off. Have some fun, stir up some trouble- it's inevitable anyway. Disappear. It's not like anything else can go wrong, right?_

 _Or, you know… you could just vanish forever. Never to be heard from again. It'll be like you were never even here._

The voice that whispered in the back of his head, that snake he despised so much. And yet, he relied on it, more so than he'd like to admit. But what else could he do? He had to keep himself together, to protect them- to save them. He couldn't risk losing anyone else; not again.

 _But would they do the same for you?_

He didn't care. At least, that's what he'd like to tell himself. The snake was right- he was useless, in battle and out. He couldn't fight, only hide and deceive his way out. Kido could fight. Seto could, too, probably. But him? He laughed.

 _That's right. All you do is cause trouble. All you do is get people killed._

He ignored the voice, hearing something far more alarming. Footsteps echoed down the path he was taking. Of course, he was used to this, and he knew long before the group came into view whose footsteps they were.  
Another gang.

No, not just another; it was a group he had encountered not too long ago as well.

"Oi!" The leader shouted as they came across the blonde. "What do you think you're doing back here? This is our turf."

Kano didn't hesitate in replying, "Ah, my bad- it seems I took a wrong turn. I'm trying to find the main road, you see?" A smile graced his lips. "But I'll be going now." He turned, intending to go back the way he came, but the gang member grabbed his shoulder.

"You seem familiar," He said slowly, turning the cat-eyed boy around. "Aren't you that kid from last week? The one that crossed our turf and knocked out my man with a rock?"

Kano's eyes flashed red as he changed his appearance slightly, making himself look smaller, and laughed, "I think you've got the wrong person. Perhaps I resemble someone else?"

Of course, they would remember, he thought solemnly. He had walked this same path a week ago, and had unfortunately come across one man who went by the policy of 'fight first, question later', and on instinct, Kano had slammed a rock against his head while making his escape.

"No… no, it's definitely you. You look a little different, but I can tell," Another man rumbled. Kano faintly recognized him as the one he had conked out.

Before the blonde could make a move, they had ganged up on him, throwing him to the ground. His eyes flashed as his body made contact with the ground. Kano shot up instantly and made a break for it, eyes burning as he quickly changed himself back to his smaller form, but alas, a black cat never did have the best luck. They had him cornered.

"Now, now," one of the gang members sneered, "There's no need to run. Let's just talk this out."

Of course, talking was never a real option. The gang attacked mercilessly, leaving the deceiver battered and bruised. He showed no sign of pain, however, and when the gang finally decided they were satisfied, they left him lying on the wet ground.

"I suppose… I deserved that," He wheezed.

 _That, and much more._

His head hurt like hell; he probably slammed it somewhere during the attack. Seeing as the ground had already been wet due to the rain, he couldn't tell what was water and what was blood, the only indicator being the somewhat sticky warmth seeping through his hair.

He felt darkness closing in, and suddenly felt tired. So, instead of going home like he'd planned, he laid on the ground, slowly losing consciousness, and embraced the darkness that engulfed him.

His deepest memories. A brief, faint thought crossed his mind: how cruel.

* * *

 _He couldn't remember his mother's face. What did her face look like?_

 _He knew her hair was beautiful, wavy and blonde. He knew that when she smiled, it would light up the whole room, and when she was in that painful rage, she was the scariest person out there. He could remember everything that happened up until that day. How she threatened him, and beat him til he bled. How she got so angry whenever he made the smallest mistake, or even when he did nothing at all. He remembered that last day, the very last day he saw her._

 _He had broken a dish by mistake. He thought he could try and be good for once, putting the plates away, but he screwed up. A plate slipped from his fingers and hit the ground, shattering into pretty white pieces. His mom had heard the commotion and stormed into the room. She'd yelled at him, about how much the plate had cost. Lectured him, on how clumsy he was. How useless he was. He didn't deserve to live. Then came the beatings. His face was numb for about an hour but he was used to it by then. The problem was hiding it from the neighbors. He didn't want his mom to get in trouble. He knew she was just in pain- pain that he was probably the source of._  
 _It was just a few hours later that it happened. He was sitting in his room when he heard a shout and a door slamming. Worried, Shuuya rushed out to the living room just in time to see his mother thrown to the ground in front of him. She caught his eyes, hers wide and fearful as she struggled to sit upright._

 _"Run!" She yelled, but Shuuya did no such thing. He couldn't leave her here._

 _"Get out of here, you useless, good-for-nothing brat!" She spat, attempting to get her only son to safety. But it was too late. The intruders came into the room -thieves- and kicked his mother, snarling at her to shut up. It had happened so fast._

 _In a blind fury, Shuuya leapt at the men, his small hands attempting to punch them. But it did nothing but anger them. His mother shouted as he was thrown back against the wall. He lay there, dazed. The men stood before him, a knife gripped in one's hand, discussing what to do. And, in less than a minute, it was decided. The one with the knife lifted his hands in the air and brought the blade down. Shuuya had closed his eyes then. But, he felt no pain, only the warm liquid he guessed was blood, which confused him because the blade hadn't touched him at all. That was when he noticed the pressure on his small body. He opened his eyes._

 _"Mom?" He whimpered. She turned slowly and mouthed something he couldn't comprehend. He couldn't remember what she had tried to tell him then, only her body being pushed aside, and a cold blade piercing his chest._

 _A while later he awoke in that same spot drenched in blood, that of his own and of his mother's, and had discovered his ability soon after. Or, he contemplated fleetingly, should it be called a curse?_  
 _He could remember all of that. So why? Why couldn't he remember her face?_

 ** _With that, he was thrown into another dream, one that hurt all the more._**

 _Ayano. His foster sister. It was such a short time that he was able to be happy. But the world had stolen that away from him as well._

 _He was on the roof with her when it happened. She believed that if she died she could stop the wide eyed snake from completing its task. So she plummeted to her death off that school building, only to disappear into the heat haze, never to be seen again._

 _Kenjirou. His foster father, possessed by the wide eyed snake, had then grabbed him by the throat and threatened his family… what was left of it, anyway. Kido and Seto. And so, Kano had complied to his demands. He couldn't afford taking the risk of not cooperating. If Kido and Seto died, his life would be meaningless. This way, at least he could be useful and keep them safe._

* * *

Kano awoke with a jolt. His head was pounding, and his whole body ached.

It was still raining. What a gloomy day it had turned out to be. He sat up, slowly and tentatively rubbing his head, feeling dried blood in his hair.

It took at least half an hour to arrive at the base where he, Kido, Seto and Marry lived. Of course, the moment he walked through the door, eyes blazing red, Kido was there with her arms crossed, accompanied by Seto who stood to the side with an uneasy look.

"Where were you!?" Kido yelled, "It's nearly morning!"

He winced under his mask at her loudness. "Ahah, I was just out for some fresh air~" He replied with a smile.

"For six hours?"

"Ahh, sorry, sorry, I guess I just lost track of time."

Kido growled in frustration. At this point, Seto felt he had to step in before things got hot.

"You should dry off," He advised, "It's raining awfully hard out there; you're bound to get sick, Shuuya."

"Right! I'll do that," He said as he bounded off towards his room, where he shut the door quietly. He leaned against the doorway, listening as Kido and Seto walked down the hall and into their own rooms. Kano sighed and trudged over to his bed, jumping in. He fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

It was morning when Seto passed by his room. Normally the boy would let the deceiver sleep in, leaving it to Kido to wake him, but as he passed he heard shifting and a small groan. He opened the door slightly, not looking in.

"Shuuya? Are you awake?"

No answer.

"I'm coming in, alright?" He warned as he heard another moan, which he then realized was out of pain.

The blonde was sweating and shifting around in his bed. Seto gripped the boy's shoulder and shook him lightly, "Shuuya? Hey, Shuuya?"  
Startled, the blonde jerked upright, his eyes flashing as he turned his attention to Seto, not quite grasping the situation.

"…Seto? What are you doing in here?" He felt terrible. His skin was on fire and his vision was blurred. It took all he had to keep his ability from wavering. Seto stared him down and flicked the boy's forehead. Kano grunted, and before he had a chance to compose himself, Seto's hand was on his forehead.

"Jeez!" He yelped, "You got a fever." Sighing, he asked, "Did you even dry off like I told you to last night?" When no answer came from the blonde-haired boy, Seto continued, "This is why you shouldn't take night walks when it's raining, Shuuya!"

Kano lay back as Seto turned, intending to get Kido's help. Guessing what he was going to do, Kano shifted to his side and whispered harshly, "No! Don't get Kido; she'll kill me if she finds out!" Seto turned around with a puzzled look.

"Besides, she planned to take Marry to see her house in the forest, right?" He didn't want to ruin her day.

Seto sighed. "Alright, but I'll be back." He left, returning a few minutes later with a bowl of cold water and a piece of cloth which he placed over Kano's heated forehead.

"Kido left, and I have to go to work soon..." Seto said.

"I'll be fine," Kano assured him, "It's just a fever. Not like I'm gonna die or anything," He laughed, pulling the cloth down over his eyes.

He probably wishes you would, the snake jeered, making him go through all this trouble. Can't you do anything right?

Seto hesitated before replying, "Well, alright, but I'll be back in three hours. Don't do anything stupid, Shuuya, and don't even think about going for another walk in your condition."

Kano raised his hands in surrender, "Don't worry~ I won't be moving an inch!"

 _Liar._

After a bit more assurance (and shooing) from Kano, Seto took his leave. As soon as he heard the front door close and the lock click, Kano hauled himself up and out of bed. As tired as he was, he couldn't help but need food. When was the last time he ate? Yesterday at lunch? Did he even have lunch- or dinner for that matter?

He almost fell down the stairs on his way to the kitchen, what with his vision blurred and all. When he eventually made it to the kitchen, he managed to pour himself a bowl of cereal, and sat there eating for about twenty minutes before he decided to take a short nap in his room again.

About two hours later, he awoke with a jolt. After steadying his breathing and heart rate, he simply laid there, eyes focused on the ceiling.

'I wonder... if I didn't exist… would mother still be alive? Would Ayano?" He thought.

It seemed he hurt everyone around him in some way or another. He was surrounded by so many people, all of them with smiling faces despite all that they had gone through, but still… he felt so alone. So empty. Did they even love him? He didn't know. What did love feel like again? His heart twisted with unease. It hurt so much, and he didn't know why. He deserved every inch of torment the world could throw at him, after all. All these lies and secrets he kept, tying him up in countless webs. And yet, in all that, he hung from one fragile thread that threatened to break at any second and send him into an even further pit of despair. Lying was the only thing he was good at, to keep his friends happy. To put a smile on their faces was the least he could do. Not to mention to protect them from the snake, that evil snake that had taken so much of his family already.

Kano decided it was about time he took a bath. Not only to cool his fever, but to calm his racing thoughts. He didn't like this, not one bit.

 _The more you push these thoughts aside and allow them to pile up, the more they will hurt when they finally come crashing down._

"Good. That's exactly what I want."

With that, he threw his hoodie on his bed, and filled the tub before shutting the door to the bathroom.

Seto was right when he said not to move. He really should've listened. Kano gazed solemnly at his reflection in the mirror before his vision blackened quickly, clearing just as fast, and Kano stumbled back. He straightened himself only to lurch forward as the room spun around him.

It was just moments after that Seto finally returned from work. He had asked and was given permission to leave early since he had a family member sick and needing attention. When he entered the base he made a beeline to Kano's room. Of course, Kano was not to be found, only his hoodie thrown across his bed, and Seto feared for the worst. Worried, he called out for him. No response was heard. The bathroom door, however, was closed, and the lights were still on. Seto calmed slightly and knocked on the door.

"Hey, Kano, I'm back."

No response.

"Kano?"  
Seto twisted the door knob and opened it slightly. "I'm coming in." Hearing no reply once again from the blonde, he did so.

Kano had fallen unconscious into the bathtub, the facet still running and the tub nearly filled to the brim. Alarmed, Seto quickly lifted him out of the tub, afraid the deceiver had drowned. Grabbing his arms, he noticed pale white streaks –scars?- but he decided to ignore them for the time being.

"Kano!" Seto shook him roughly in an attempt to wake him, and immediately relaxed when the blonde groaned. "Oh, good," He sighed, leaning back against the door.

"Seto?" Kano sat up, rubbing his head, and his eyes immediately flashed red, "You're back," He commented.

"Yeah...you know, sleeping in the bathtub isn't a very good idea, Kano," Seto commented.

"Ahah, my bad."

Studying him, Seto asked, "What happened?"

"...Just got a little dizzy, is all. I'm fine now."

"I told you not to get out of bed," He sighed, "Go change into something dry. Kido should be home soon as well."

 _Ahh, look at what you did. He's upset now._

 ** _'Shut up.'_**

Kano complied to the other boy's wishes. After changing, he returned to his bed.

For an hour, he laid there, the only thoughts running through his mind was that of his mother, Ayano, and all the countless problems he had caused, and the possible future ones as well. A short while later, Kido returned, along with Marry. Seto told her what happened and, while leaving Marry to make tea, Kido and Seto made their way to Kano's room.

"Kano," She said as she entered, "What's wrong?"

Kano looked up, giving her a puzzled look, and answered, "What do you mean? Nothing's wrong!" He smiled as if to prove his point.

She raised an eyebrow, "Seto told me you have a fever."

Kano shot a glance at Seto, who shrugged. "Well, yeah, this morning. I'm fine now." A large grin spread across his face, "Why~? Is Tsubomi worried about me~?"

Kido pinched him, hard.

"Ah- ow! I was just kidding!"

She released him and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him as he rubbed his arm.

"Kano... where'd you get those scars?" Seto asked slowly. Kano tensed, and pulled his legs to his chest. He made sure to keep a smile on his face as he answered, "What do you mean? I don't have any scars. And if I did, they'd probably be from our aggressive Danchou~"

Said Leader narrowed her eyes at him. She was not amused.

"C'mon Kano I saw the-" Seto was interrupted as Kido pulled Kano's arm sharply.

"Quit lying to us. You haven't cracked a joke for most of the day. Something's been eating at you; spill."

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about~"

 _That's it, keep on lying. They already hate you; what's one more lie?_

"Kano. We're a family. You're our little brother, we're here to listen," Seto said, "You've always been the one to cheer us up. Why won't you let us do the same?"

Kano's heart was pounding in his chest and questions raced through his mind. If he told them, what would they think of him? If he told them about Ayano, would Kenjirou kill them? Was it worth the risk? Would they still see him the same way?

They were all silent for one tense minute, before Kano finally decided that he would tell them.

 _Even if they hate you forever? Even if it costs them their lives?_

Kano closed his eyes tightly. 'I can't do this anymore…' he thought.

Slowly but surely, he let the masks he hid himself behind fade away. Last night's injuries appeared, along with all the old scars on his arms from his childhood. He had some on his back, under his hoodie, and even more along his sides and littered across his stomach. One on the side of his neck, another above his brow. And, of course, he could never forget the ones criss-crossing his heart.

He took a deep breath.

"The scars were from before I died," He started."My mom… she hated me. Or, at least, that's what she showed on the outside. I never really believed it. I couldn't. She was the only one I had back then. But now she's gone, just like everyone else. When Ayaka died, and Kenjirou was possessed by the Wide-Eyed snake, Ayano found out about this plan of his." Tears began to form as Ayano's death replayed in his mind. He heard "He wanted to kill these two kids and force snakes into them so that they could gain powers like us. When Ayano found out, she decided that maybe if she died she could stop him. She told me everything, and I even took her place in school while she investigated. And then, one day, she went to the roof of her school, and Kenjirou was there. I followed her…" His voice cracked, and his throat was starting to burn, but he forced himself to continue.

"She was so scared, but she jumped anyway! I couldn't save her, I tried, but I was too late. I watched her fall and I couldn't do anything!" He sobbed, "Kenjirou threatened me. He said if I told anyone, he'd kill the both of you!" When he looked up, Kido had her mouth open in shock, and Seto had gasped.

"You kept this all to yourself?" Seto whispered, "Shuuya…"

"I took Ayano's place in school for a while after that," Kano strained, "All while helping him. I was the one that hurt Shintaro, not Ayano. I had to get us away from Kenjirou."

"That's why we made the base…" Kido murmured.

"So many things have happened, Kido... I've watched nearly everyone I love die right before my eyes. I was too powerless to stop it. Now I'm probably condemning you two as well. Who knows?" He laughed bitterly.

"We'll take care of it together," Kido insisted, "That's what we do; we stick together. We're a family."

"I don't even know who I am anymore!" Kano exclaimed angrily. "When Ayaka and Ayano died, I wanted to give up, I really did. But you two were sad, and I had to make you guys smile. I felt like my insides were being torn apart every day."

He looked away and sharply wiped the tears he'd shed off his face.

"I wish my heart was like glass…" He muttered. Kido and Seto glanced at each other, confusion written across their faces.

"If my heart was glass, it would've shattered long ago, and I wouldn't have to feel this way. I hate it! But no, my heart has to be paper. It's being ripped apart, slowly, the pain never-ending, and when it's all torn to shreds it'll burn until there's nothing left but ashes," He spat, "God, I can remember every shitty thing that's ever happened, every lie I've ever told. But I can't remember her face. I can't remember my mother's face! I miss her! I miss her, Ayaka, Ayano... I miss the old Kenjirou, the one who played with us and only pretended to be the villain. The one we all loved."

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. "I wonder... if I never existed, would all of you be happy? Would they still be alive?"

"Don't say that!" Kido snapped, seizing his shoulder. She had sat down next to him sometime during his rant. She huffed, closing her eyes, and loosened her grip.

"The past can't be changed, Kano. And for all we know, all of that could've happened anyway. Those burglars could've still killed your mother. We would've still been sent to that orphanage with all those terrible people. Ayano's family would've adopted us, and Ayaka would've still died in that mudslide. Kenjirou would've still come back with those Eyes. Ayano would've still commit-... she would've still sacrificed herself for us. None of that was your fault. It's possible nothing would've changed. Kano...you're here now. And we won't go anywhere. We'll fight together from now on."

"We're family," Seto added, "Your pain is our pain, Kano. It doesn't matter who -or what- you think you are. You're you, and that's all that matters. It's gonna take a while, but you'll get better. You'll find yourself again. We'll save Kenjirou together, with the Dan, not just the three of us. We're not alone anymore- you're not alone anymore."

"I just feel so useless…" Kano whispered, "Everything I've ever done has caused nothing but trouble."

"You're not useless. You've made us smile during the darkest times, even if it was by being an idiot. You shut in your feelings for our sakes, and we never thought twice about how you might've been feeling. We should've realised it sooner," Seto apologized, pulling Kano into a hug. Kido joined in.

"We'll take on the world together," Seto assured, smiling.

For the first time in so long, the twisting feeling in his gut had loosened, and letting most of it off his chest had somehow made him feel lighter. He was still depressed, but he felt better, and he imagined they'd work more on that later. After embracing for a few minutes, Kido leaned back and sighed.

"We'll figure out what to do later. For now, I'm gonna make some soup for that fever of yours," She said, flicking Kano's forehead.

Kano laughed lightly while rubbing the spot. After she left, it was just him and Seto.

"You know, you could've saved me all that by just reading my mind."

Seto smiled, "Yeah, but then you wouldn't feel as good as you do now, would you?"

"True," He agreed, laughing.

He paused for a moment, closing his eyes as his grin faded. "…Seto?"

"Hmm?"

The blonde took a breath, before looking up at the taller boy, meeting his eyes. "Do you guys hate me? For everything I've done? Everything I've hidden from you two?"

"Of course not!" Seto exclaimed, "And Kido doesn't, either. We love you, Kano. Never forget that."

'They don't hate me...' He thought, relief flooding through him.

"Thank you... for everything," Kano sighed, smiling softly, sincerely.

And, for once… that snake was silent.


End file.
